I’ve never felt like this before in my life. I’m alone, but I just want to lash out at someone… anyone. So much anger, I can feel it in my blood.
Fuck you for not listening to me.
I want… need… someone to hate.
“It’s like during our entire fucking relationship, you were in love with someone else.”
I drunkenly reached out to him. HIM. At my sister’s wedding. And used the best man to help me forget. Drunk Stella, desperate Stella… broken Stella.
“Let’s dance a little…”
It’s pathetic really. In case you’re wondering, he didn’t reply because he can’t. I blocked him as soon as I realized what I’d done.
I’m just so angry. All the time. Angry that I moved farther into the frozen tundra, for nothing! Angry that I have any negative feelings at all… because, why!? Stella with her perfectly boring job and her perfectly mediocre apartment has no reason to complain.
I get myself into these ridiculous situations and then get pissed when I don’t know how to navigate them. Boo fucking hoo. I’m so angry, but I don’t even feel sorry for myself half the time.