I just have a lot of feelings. Two posts this evening.
I made it a point this weekend to spend a lot of time reflecting on the person that I am, the person I was before all the bad stuff happened, and what I truly want out of life. Do I want to continue pursuing my ‘submissive journey’ or would I rather say fuck it?
I know, considering the train wreck that was my most recent relationship, that I can’t do vanilla. I don’t want a relationship, but I also don’t want just a play partner because, at this point, I wouldn’t trust myself to stay unattached. Emotionally fragile, to say the least.
I don’t like admitting this, but I am still pathetically attached to Jason. He fucked me up. I finally confessed this to my sister, who knows a bit about the nature of our relationship.
What would you do if he called or even showed up? Could you step away, Stella?
My mind conveniently forgets all the heartbreak…