Stella thoughts

I feel like complaining today.  It’s just been one of THOSE days.  I shattered a glass this morning and then proceeded to almost burn my building down this afternoon.  My head aches beyond belief and, of course, I forgot to pick up more ibuprofen when I was out earlier.

I have no updates on my ‘sexting’ adventures.  I’m still stuck on the photo issues, unfortunately.  I have hated every single one I have taken thus far.  It’s being worked on… and I am definitely not giving up.

And, the great search for a Dom?  I feel like that will eternally be an issue.  I keep getting messages like the below.  I am pretty certain that this guy wouldn’t go up to anyone in real life and ask the same question.


Normally, I don’t reply to these messages.  In this case I did just to inform him that I had been raped in real life and did not care to re-live it.  Maybe he would learn.

The reply?


I just can’t.

I should note, I have talked to good people on Collarspace and Doms that could have potential.  However, they are usually too far away or not interested in anything beyond chatting.  I’m always hesitant to write about the good, in fear that I will somehow jinx it.  Because, trust me, there IS good.

Here is what I want:  To find someone who makes me want to submit.  I don’t want to force it because I want it to be real.  Someone who can challenge me in any manner.  But most importantly, I need a Dom who isn’t going to try to turn me into someone else but will take the good and make it better.

I don’t want someone who is going to take advantage of my weaknesses or the things that have happened in my past.  I really, REALLY don’t want someone who is going to treat me as lesser.  I hate that.  Submission does not make me less, it does not make me a doormat.

One day at a time…




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