My submission

I talk a lot about Jason and all the bad things that happened in that relationship.  It didn’t start that way.  It was good.  So good.  I think that’s why I had such a hard time letting go of him.  He was the first person I was ever honest with about my interest in BDSM and my submissive desires.

Where did all this come from!?  A Dom I exchanged a few messages with asked me to describe my submissiveness.  I never know what to say when they ask that.. is it even possible?  It is different for everyone but I feel like my description won’t be uncommon.

My submission comes only when I feel a connection has been established and once its been tapped into, its intense.  I’m fiercely loyal by nature but my submission brings it out further.  All I want to do is please and it consumes me entirely.  It almost feels like standing on the edge of a cliff and trusting that the world won’t fall away under your feet.

Of course, the Earth did fall away.

Jason and I lived four hours away from each other, so we only got to spend time together a few weekends a month.  The sound of his voice on the phone was enough to pull me into subspace almost instantly.  He’d call me anytime, even at 3 in the morning after I had just suffered yet another night terror.  All I wanted was to make him happy and I did everything within my capabilities to do so.

It wasn’t all bad.

When I first realized there was a problem, I felt like I failed as a girlfriend and a submissive.  I know now that I did not, but it really broke me.  Part of me is still very broken but that is temporary.

I wanted to write this because I realized I talk about my experiences but never my submission itself.  It is so difficult to put into words.

stella

 

 

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6 thoughts on “My submission”

  1. I love female Domination and I am all about woman empowerment, the fact that you are willing to submit makes you a beautiful person!! the act of submission provides the Dominant with a wonderful domination experience!! Good luck in your journey.
    Leah S.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this self- reflecting piece. You did an awesome job at describing your feelings, and ultimately, what makes you ‘glow’ about submission. Thanks again for sharing, Stella 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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