It’s been a few days since my last post! It was the end of the fiscal quarter this week at work so I was busy crunching away on numbers.
I have realized that I have not given an update on my sexting adventure I spoke about a month ago. The profile was created and everything was approved however I was unable to figure out how to show myself as ‘available’ and customer service was not helpful. In typical Stella fashion, I got frustrated and basically just said ‘fuck it’. I may revisit it in the future. I tend to believe that all things happen for a reason, it just was not meant to be.
Lately I have been having a lot of ‘realizations’ about my life. One of them is that I have been separating my “regular” self from my submissive self. Hence, the constant internal struggle. I can trace it back to the beginning. After the Jason fiasco, instead of giving him his fair share of blame, I blamed my hurt entirely on my submissive side. Thus, I separated my life into the two different categories.
I don’t know how to fix it, or if it even needs to be fixed. But perhaps it’s the key because I really do want to be able to reach my submissive self again.