Yet again, it has been a few days since I have written. Not because I do not want to, but because I cannot seem to find anything to write about. My entire focus as of late has been my new resolve to become healthier. When you cut sugar out of your diet, it really REALLY messes with you. I guess my submissive journey got put on the back-burner for a minute.
Speaking of my submissive journey, I had yet another revelation a week or so ago. Previously, I talked about how I separate myself into two beings: Submissive Stella and Vanilla Stella. I have been thinking about ways to merge these two beings back together, as they should be. The only words that keep flashing across my mind are: “Figure out who you are.”
That’s it. The past few years, I have been wandering around life having no clue who I am. None. I have started a list. A list of things (even the most mundane) that make up Stella, that make up the person I am and have been for all 27 years of my life.
Stella’s List of Stella-things:
- I am submissive. I know this for certain.
- I am an INFP. This personality type most rings true.
- Over-thinking is my specialty.
- I work in finance, but I actually hate numbers.
- I have extremely sensitive intuition.
- Emotions stay bottled up in my mind for a LONG time.
- On a sad day, cherry poptarts make me kind of happy.
So, you get the picture. Somewhere a long the line, I lost myself. It’s like getting to know a complete stranger again, I feel like I need to ask myself: “So, what are your hobbies? What’s your favorite color?” One day, one step at a time… I’ll figure this out.