I think I mentioned that I have started pursuing a healthier lifestyle. Thus far I have been successful in removing unnatural and added sugars from my diet. A few days ago, I added in some moderate cardio exercises. I’m feeling good, feeling healthy… even though sometimes I want a damn chocolate chip cookie. BUT! I have lost 13 pounds so far. That is far more satisfying than a cookie!
One of the best things it has done for me so far is to help me avoid eating based on my emotions. Strangely enough, it has brought a lot of feelings to the surface of my mind again. Perhaps my body is trying to purge more than just sugar. The thing I have felt most strongly today is regret. UGH.
Shortly after Christmas, I delivered a few truth bombs to some people who had been in my life. There’s one I can’t stop thinking about it. The damage is done at this point, but what if I hadn’t been so damn impatient? What if I had been even more honest? What if I hadn’t been so terrified to share what I was feeling? It is entirely possible that person did not want to be part of my life, but… that’s never the impression I received.
I do, admittedly, bottle up my feelings, however, I do not typically regret my decisions regarding the people in my life. This blow was unexpected and hit much harder than I anticipated.
Sometimes I am afraid to be honest here. On MY blog of all places, because it really isn’t that anonymous. I give the link out occasionally, but forget that I might need to write about that person sometimes. My intentions are never to hurt anyone but as I begin to understand myself again… I think that might be inevitable. An old classmate once told me (in reference to a group project, but it fits here), “You can’t be afraid of letting someone go when they’re holding you back.”