Figuring out my life

This post really has nothing to do with submissive or kink anything.  Just a life post.  This whole last week has been a struggle.  Up until yesterday afternoon, I was miserable and I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Recently, I’ve been of the belief that you choose your happiness.  Barring major, uncontrollable events and medical conditions, it really is our choice.

Almost all of yesterday evening, I sat at my desk and compiled a plan.  I listed the top three things that stress me out the most: 1. Finances 2. Health and 3. Anxiety issues.  Then I just went to town and figured shit out.

1. Financial stress

Honestly, my finances aren’t terrible.  I have a good credit score and can afford to pay my bills, I just have a lot of student loan debt (and a little credit card debt from making bad choices in my super early 20s) and I would like to accelerate getting that paid off, especially the credit card crap.

I made a Mint account – it helps compile all your asset/debts/etc in one place and makes it super easy to budget.  I haven’t set a final budget yet, but I did make a commitment to setting a certain amount aside each month for savings and as extra payments toward debts.  Once I hit that savings goal, that cash will go towards debt too.

I even set up an Excel spreadsheet to track my progress in a more detailed manner.  The tunnel is long and dark on this one, but there is a light at the end.

2. Health

This should probably have been number one, but… at this point, they equally stress me out.  In January, I did a no-sugar (not even fruit) and super low carb 21 day diet with my coworkers.  During that period, I had never felt healthier. My mental health was better, my skin glowed, and even my vision seemed sharper.  Not to mention, I lost 16 pounds in 21 days without starving myself and doing only very light exercise.

I am going to return to a less extreme version of that.  This time, I’ll be eating fruit in limited quantities (it is nature’s candy, after all) but mostly focusing on protein and vegetables.  Bread, pasta, etc are all out.  Because I am in no position to be wasting food, I’ll continue to eat what I already have, in moderation, and then replace it with healthier options instead.

Today, I visited the grocery store and bought a bunch of healthy snack options for work.  That is where I struggle the most.  I love eating veggies (I got carrots and celery this week) with guacamole or homemade salsa (sugar free!).  I also rely heavily on almonds and sunflower seeds.  Going back to salads for lunch and lean proteins for dinner.

And then my least favorite part – exercise!  Don’t get me wrong, I love to be active.  However, dedicated exercise is such a bore!  I’ll be happy if I can do something for 30-60 minutes 3 times per week.

3. Anxiety issues

This one is difficult since I can’t afford the counseling that would make it so much easier.  The only option I see here is to try to take deep breaths and relax.  Perhaps I will start writing specific things down when I notice that they trigger my anxiety and figure out ways to counteract them.

The other two were so easy to map out.  Fingers crossed that achieving goals in the first two categories will help to ease some of the anxiety.

Another thing that might help?  Learning to be honest about how I feel and learning when to say enough is enough.








3 thoughts on “Figuring out my life”

  1. you can do it stella… on the anxiety point, i think I have it too but same… I don’t have time/money to afford a counseling. Instead I surround myself with positive and trustworthy people I could share with.

    I’ll leave you with this verse: Philippians 4:6-7. Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As far as exercise goes, walk three or four times a week. Start slow, maybe a mile or so, then extend it a little more at a time. It’s good to get out in the fresh air, and you get some time to think and clear your head from all the unnecessary clutter.

    Liked by 1 person

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