So many feelings

I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately.  Life has been a lot to handle over the recent weeks.  It isn’t good or bad, it just is.  I feel like I’m on the edge of something amazing though.

I have also been struggling with my place in this lifestyle.  I know I am submissive, but how submissive I am remains to be seen.  I think for the right person (for Sir!) it could run rather deeply.  I also still struggle with the stereotype that society pushes on submissive women.  I found the below quote and, for me, it’s so true.  I willingly submit to ONE man but I am no doormat.


Those smitten kitten feelings I wrote about the other day have NOT worn away.  Sir is always on my mind and I get turned on just thinking about him, a fantastic daydream.  I like that he isn’t turned off by my clinginess, my need for attention. I could go on and on….

Sir has set quite a few rules now.  Well, in my opinion at least… I haven’t EVER had rules in my entire life.  But, that’s what I want.  Those rules are helping me toward my own goals and I don’t feel resentful towards him like I worried I might.  Not even when I ‘forget’ a rule and end up writing lines. LOL.  For the first time, in a LONG time, it felt like someone actually cared.

The only problem so far is that I want to be closer to him.  My attachment is growing quickly and it feels right… but at some point, I’m going to want to feel him physically touch me (and inside me, for that matter! LOL).




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