Won’t you fly high, free bird

At this time last year I was in the process of ending an emotionally abusive relationship.  In fact, just a few days after my birthday I ended it completely after he threatened to kill us both.  Why?  Because I wanted Mexican food for my birthday lunch and he was “so fucking sick of that place”.  Totally a reason to drive someone off a bridge, right?

After I ended it, I felt so free.  Fittingly, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Free Bird came on my Pandora station.  That song is MY song now.

The effects of that relationship still linger.  I am still cautious and slow to trust, still anxious, still believe that I don’t deserve to be loved or happy.  I still assume that everyone has a motive to hurt me.  Sir tries hard to convince me otherwise.  It’s not that I don’t believe him, but that my anxiety is constantly trying to convince me otherwise.

My instinct is to run, even though I have nothing to run from.

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