The bills started arriving from the hospital today – exciting. Luckily they’re willing to work with me but it’s still going to be tough to make the minimum payments. I am still struggling to not regret going to the hospital. I very much understand the severity of the infection and that it was actually an emergency… but fuck. Why can I never get ahead in life? The universe sees I am making progress and then just knocks me right back down.
I considered getting a roommate, but then I realized that wouldn’t work. I live alone because I cannot get along with anyone for an extended period of time. It doesn’t matter how much I like someone, sometimes I need a break. Even the cats get on my nerves occasionally.
I’d like to sit outside but since my ex-boyfriend moved in to a neighboring building, I can’t even do that. In fact, I can see him now from my window. He is always there. Sometimes I have nightmares that he is standing outside my bedroom window in the middle of the night – I mean, I think they’re nightmares. Even the tiniest shadow of movement makes me jump out of my skin. I won’t be moving though, that is way out of my budget. I don’t know if he’s dangerous or not.
Ugh. My life. In the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t so bad. I know.
I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift all day. I’ve always enjoyed her music, don’t judge me. I identify with her songs.