The bills started arriving from the hospital today – exciting.  Luckily they’re willing to work with me but it’s still going to be tough to make the minimum payments.  I am still struggling to not regret going to the hospital.  I very much understand the severity of the infection and that it was actually an emergency… but fuck.  Why can I never get ahead in life?  The universe sees I am making progress and then just knocks me right back down.

I considered getting a roommate, but then I realized that wouldn’t work.  I live alone because I cannot get along with anyone for an extended period of time.  It doesn’t matter how much I like someone, sometimes I need a break.  Even the cats get on my nerves occasionally.

I’d like to sit outside but since my ex-boyfriend moved in to a neighboring building, I can’t even do that.  In fact, I can see him now from my window.  He is always there.  Sometimes I have nightmares that he is standing outside my bedroom window in the middle of the night – I mean, I think they’re nightmares.  Even the tiniest shadow of movement makes me jump out of my skin.  I won’t be moving though, that is way out of my budget.  I don’t know if he’s dangerous or not.

Ugh. My life.  In the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t so bad.  I know.

I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift all day.  I’ve always enjoyed her music, don’t judge me.  I identify with her songs.




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