I didn’t report.

When I was 20, my boyfriend raped me.

I had missed a few pills, we didn’t have a condom.

I said “No, I’m not comfortable.”

He said.  “But, it’s okay.  I want a baby with you.”  (He didn’t have a job.  I was a college student, working at Kmart part-time.)

I said no.

I said no.

And he pushed me down, ignored me while I sobbed.

 

My best friend?  She told me it wasn’t rape because he was my boyfriend and to stop overreacting.

I believed her.  I internalized it.  Kept it a secret.  Until now.

 

I didn’t report it, but it doesn’t mean I’m not telling the truth.

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4 thoughts on “I didn’t report.”

  1. I am sorry he did that. I hope you understand that what happens to you is not you. I don’t know if that came out right. In other words, He is the freak and sicko and the one with a problem. He was 100% responsible for what happened. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂 My mind bounces around between second guessing myself (could I have prevented it?) and reminding myself it isn’t my fault. It’s been about 9 years since it happened now, thankfully those “was it my fault?” ideas have started to fade away.

      Like

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