The Best Man.

I know I’m starved for human touch and it’s worse when I’ve got a little captain in me…I do now.  Captain and Cuervo.

I know it wasn’t okay for me to dance with him like that…not in front of his girl, not in front of anyone.  It’s not like I initiated it but..God…I just want someone to touch me.

Or, maybe I just want someone to look at me like he did.

Sometimes Stella can’t help herself. Sometimes Stella just does as she pleases…sometimes she forgets how much she can hurt other people.

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Necklace

“There’s a necklace on the sink.  Make sure he gets it back.  I’m so sorry.”

I stood staring into the mirror, a half empty bottle of vodka and a bottle of painkillers in front of me, and watched a lone mascara tinted tear trail down my cheek.

What the fuck are you doing? 

Such a beautiful waste.  I could almost feel his hands brush through my hair, his alcohol scented breath on my ear.  It was pretty though….

You are mine. 

I could feel the numbness spread over my body, such perfect relief.  Like a dream, dancing in and out of consciousness….

Call me, Stella, please.  

I should have known, another failure.  Even death didn’t want to deal with my bullshit.