I posted this on StormyFoxx.com as well, but thought I would double post some of my posts for awhile as things get started:
My collar broke this morning. The chain crumbled in my hands as I tried to put it on for the day. It put a damper on my Monday morning, as if Mondays weren’t bad enough. I wanted to burst into tears and crawl back into bed. All day I kept trying to touch it, as I often do when I’m anxious or frustrated at work, but it wasn’t there. I felt… lost and strangely vulnerable.
I’ve been feeling off all day. Not just because of the collar (also, life in general) but that has been a contributing factor. It makes it more difficult when I cannot confide in my friends. I can tell them I’m sad that I broke my necklace, but they don’t know (and likely never will) what it symbolizes. To them, it is just a piece of jewelry.
Wolf and I are long-distance, that damn necklace is the one tangible thing I have with me all day everyday that links me to Him. I realize that it’s a material object and doesn’t affect my relationship or dynamic with Him, but there is a ton of meaning packed into the delicate little necklace. I could buy a new one, an exact replica, but it isn’t THAT one.
It’s laying on the bathroom counter now. I can’t decide what to do with it. I tend to work myself into a frenzy over these things, because everything means something, right? My mind spins out of control.
Am I being dramatic? I don’t know. Probably. I just want it back.
