So here’s the deal on my last two weeks – my apartment got bedbugs (from a neighbor who failed to report), the state of such and such (a state I don’t actually live in anymore) informed me I owed them tax money from 2014, I got a new car, my boss got a promotion so I am trying to get his position, and I started taking a new anxiety medication. Needless to say, even though those aren’t ALL bad things and life could be a lot worse, I have been stressed. Beyond stressed.
The bed bugs are now hopefully eradicated and the tax money has been paid… but this medication has me almost constantly nauseous. It has finally eased up a bit, just to be replaced by a headache. My doctor tells me this is normal for the first few weeks, but sometimes I feel as if I would rather be anxious.
Anyway, the real point of this post is that as much as I hate to admit it, this stress has seriously impacted my submission to Sir. He is always so patient with me, but I cannot help thinking that he deserves better than that. This morning he showed me a Tumblr post that someone had written about how we don’t get to pick and choose when we’re submissive or Dominant. It requires commitment every single day.
So, that’s my current goal, or at least one of them, and one of my highest priorities. Re-focus on my submission and let it make me feel like it used to – secure and happy and free.