Hunted

The darkness.. the silence.. the leaves rustling. I can’t stay here, such an easy target. Somewhere he is lurking… waiting.  Waiting for his prey to wander across his path, helpless and lost.  I know he is close.   No one to hear the screams, he said when we were still in the light.  

I should run.  I should… a twig snaps, a hand clasps over my mouth…

Too late, girl.  

 

Negotiations, rules, & contracts. Oh my!

Hellloooo!

That scene makes me laugh out loud every single time. ❤  Also, it has literally zero things to do with this blog post.

The actual point of this blog post is to complete the next prompt that I received in my e-mail from Loving BDSM (you can see previous writing prompts here). This one is about contracts and negotiations.  I added rules to the title because I’m going to touch on that a little too!

“People read the word “negotiation” and imagine some sort of back and forth thing around a table in a formal way.  It can be that, sure, but mostly it’s just the conversation you have to figure out what kind of D/s relationship you want for yourself.  Submissives have the right to, and should, ask why a rule/task/ritual is being put in place and both sides should have the freedom to disagree, suggest other things, and make sure their needs are being met.

Negotiations aren’t a one time thing either.  You’ll come back to this over and over again in your relationship.  Will you have a contract?  Do you need a checklist?  What exactly does a negotiation sound like?”

Well, right off the bat, I will tell you that Sir and I do NOT have a contract and we probably never will.  To me, they are a bit unnecessary.  I honestly mean no offense to anyone who has a contract as part of their D/s, but it isn’t for me.  We haven’t gone through any type of checklist either.

Do we negotiate?  Of course.  I actually had to discuss this with Sir a little because from our relationship thus far it has seemed like negotiation was never really a thing.  Oh, but it was and definitely is a thing!  If I am uncomfortable with something, I tell him and, thus, we negotiate.  It’s basically a constant negotiation.

Back to the contracts, this doesn’t mean I don’t have rules, tasks, etc.  I do and I keep a list of them on my phone.  Instead of signing my name to something, I just agree that I am going to follow these rules and accept any consequences for breaking them.  So perhaps it is more contract-ish that I though.  However, contract or not, the option to walk away is always there.  Not that I’m about to exercise that option.  I am still a very smitten kitten.  ❤ ❤ ❤

Keep an eye out for Sir’s answer to this prompt, I’m sure it’ll be along soon 😉

Also, because I’m now in the habit of adding soundtracks to my posts (literally just songs that have nothing to do with anything and happened to be playing as I typed…).

Heavy metal & kinky workouts

This is going to be more of a personal post, I think.  I even added a soundtrack for you at the bottom!  Heavy metal Stella is out in full force.  I am certain my neighbors love me as I scream let the bodies hit the floor at the top of my lungs.  They either love me or they are in the process of calling the police.  One of those things.

Sometimes it feels good though, you know?  Letting go…

I didn’t really have a good weekend.  A lot of anxiety and I really wasn’t a very good girl, so I am sure whatever is coming for the rules I broke will be… fun.  Lot’s of sarcasm in that.  Sometimes I get a little desperate for attention and forget to use my brain.  Not an excuse.

I haven’t talked about this a lot, but for the past four weeks (almost five now!!) I have been on a pretty big fitness kick.  I got Beachbody on Demand and have been absolutely loving it.  Don’t worry, I am NOT a Beachbody coach and have no intentions of becoming one so I will not be annoying you all with constant promotion.  BUT, I’m getting muscles! It’s exciting.

99% percent of the reasons for my fitness kick have to do with my health, but the other 1% are much more fun.  😉  Perhaps I have some fantasies about being tied up in all sorts of positions that would be impossible without being physically fit.  I also very much enjoy testing my body, whether it be through physical stamina or pain limits.

So, yeah, when I workout I think about being tied up.  It helps, try it!  Kink makes everything better, even exercise.  Someone needs to start a kinky workout program, if there isn’t one already.  I’m not really sure what that would entail?  It still needs to happen. 😉

Stella writes erotica?

So, the idea of writing erotica has been on my mind.  This is not a recent thing, it has been on my mind for weeks and weeks and weeks.  I enjoy reading erotica from time to time, but the issue is that I do not want to read just porn (don’t get me wrong, that’s fun sometimes too!).  I want a real plot and characters that actually develop throughout a long with plenty of sex and kink and erotic amazingness. Maybe there is a better term for this than erotica?  I don’t know.

I want to write about the things that lurk in the very darkest corners of my mind and even the things that cross deep into my hard limits and beyond what I would even consider to be on my radar.  I mean, I already have the Stella alias, so why not?  I know there is a market out there.  Sex sells, no question about it.

There are a few things holding me back.  For example, I feel that writing is a very vulnerable thing, even when it is purely fiction.  But then again, this blog is also very vulnerable.  I am going to continue to mull it over in my mind for the next few days and see if I can come up with anything.

Capture.PNG

My thoughts on titles/labels

Today’s writing prompt (from Loving BDSM) is about titles and labels.  You can find previous answers to these writing prompts here.

“Beyond the basic title of Dominant or submissive, are there other titles you prefer or are interested in exploring?  Are there any that turn you off or don’t seem like a good fit for you?

Some titles for Dominants may be Master, Sir, Daddy, Mistress, Lady, etc. Titles for submissives can be pet, babygirl, little one, boy, girl, etc.

To be completely honest, I have never EVER cared for nicknames or any type of title/label other than my own name.  Stella is an alias that I use for this specific blog, otherwise I prefer when people use my actual name.  That said, it’s a little different when it comes to my little D/s world.

Sir calls me a few different things: my love or my slave, for example.  Outside of this blog, I actually refer to him as Master.  Sometimes it gets a little more toward the degradation side of things with titles such as ‘slut’ or ‘fuckhole.’  I enjoy that in moderation.  I have a nasty little habit of internalizing things like that – heavy degradation or humiliation is damaging to me.

There are names that turn me off.  I hate the word ‘cunt’ when specifically directed at a person no matter the context.  HATE it. Being referred to as an animal, specifically a farm animal would also be an absolute no-no.  That would actually probably make me cry. LOL.  Kitten is probably the only acceptable animal, because kittens are fuzzy and warm and cute unlike other animals that are fat and stinky and make gross grunting noises.

And, on that note, I am ending this post. 😉  If you have thoughts, let me know in the comments!  Keep an eye out for Sir’s response to this same prompt!

What does submission mean to you?

The next writing prompt in the 30 Days of D/s is about submission and what it means. Considering that I am indeed a submissive, I hope this will be easy… but, I’m willing to bet it won’t be. 😉

As I mentioned previously, Sir will also be answering this prompt, and all the others, so keep an eye out for that!  You can see previous answers from both myself and Sir, here.

Does a submissive have certain behaviors?  Do submissives do specific tasks? When you think of a submissive and submission, what thoughts come to mind?

So, does a submissive have certain behaviors?  Yes and for the most part, they probably are similar across the board.  Obviously, there will be variances as we were not all created by the same cookie cutter.  I will list a few behaviors of mine that I consider to be submissive behaviors, some obvious and some maybe not so much.  This is absolutely not an exhaustive list and you may not agree.

  1. I am obedient to Sir’s wishes.  This does not mean I am a doormat.
  2. I try my best to be open minded/flexible when it comes to things that might make me a little uncomfortable, but are not necessarily hard limits.
  3. Sir is on my mind 99.9% of the time but I do not let it interfere in my career, friendships, etc..   That said, he is my priority.  Balance is the key.
  4. I am open with him about my likes/dislikes, fears, goals, feelings and anything else you can imagine.
  5. I work to understand that needs/wants are two extremely different things.  I put our needs at equal importance, but I will always put his wants before mine.

The re-occurring theme here is that submissive does not equal weak.  Submission, in my opinion, shows extreme strength.  It isn’t easy to submit to another and give them that kind of power over you.  It certainly is not for everyone.  I crave and need it more than almost anything, but it is still a struggle to give up control sometimes.

While many submissive behaviors might be similar from one submissive to another, their tasks may not be.  I cannot say that submissives have specific tasks.  I only say this because I assume their tasks are set by their Dom and I cannot imagine each and every Dom wants the same thing.

I don’t have a ton but here are is an example or two of tasks from my D/s relationship:  I edge every single day and sometimes more often per Sir’s request.  On the occasion that I am allowed to orgasm, I always record it (we are long distance at the moment, if you did not know.).

When I think of submissives and submission, I think of the following things: freedom (yes, really.  Perhaps I can expand on this later.), trust, deep connections, kink & sex, love, obedience, communication, learning, discipline, rules, strength….  The list goes on and on.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this same prompt – feel free to leave it in the comments!

What does Dominance mean to you? – Sir’s perspective

So in case it was not clear we are newlywed gaming this. I don’t know her answers nor she mine.

What does dominance in a relationship mean to your? 

It means to be a leader and to be in control. It means you have responsibility for more than just yourself. It means that someone is counting on you. Ironically it also means to be in service, because as surely as those you lead are in service to you, you are in service to them as well.

What traits will a Dominant have?

Attention to detail, willingness to communicate, willingness to teach, patience, willingness to learn, understanding. At the end of the day BDSM is a relationship, different than others more structured, and the Dom needs to be able to be a good partner as well as leader.

How should a Dominant behave?

As if his sub is the most important person in his world. A Dom should be be calm, willing to listen, be stability in chaos. A Dom should keep his word for good or bad, which means being strict at times. A Dom should also laugh with his sub, share in jokes with her. A Dom should act as his sub’s partner and rock in all ways.