Negotiations, rules, & contracts. Oh my!

Hellloooo!

That scene makes me laugh out loud every single time. ❤  Also, it has literally zero things to do with this blog post.

The actual point of this blog post is to complete the next prompt that I received in my e-mail from Loving BDSM (you can see previous writing prompts here). This one is about contracts and negotiations.  I added rules to the title because I’m going to touch on that a little too!

“People read the word “negotiation” and imagine some sort of back and forth thing around a table in a formal way.  It can be that, sure, but mostly it’s just the conversation you have to figure out what kind of D/s relationship you want for yourself.  Submissives have the right to, and should, ask why a rule/task/ritual is being put in place and both sides should have the freedom to disagree, suggest other things, and make sure their needs are being met.

Negotiations aren’t a one time thing either.  You’ll come back to this over and over again in your relationship.  Will you have a contract?  Do you need a checklist?  What exactly does a negotiation sound like?”

Well, right off the bat, I will tell you that Sir and I do NOT have a contract and we probably never will.  To me, they are a bit unnecessary.  I honestly mean no offense to anyone who has a contract as part of their D/s, but it isn’t for me.  We haven’t gone through any type of checklist either.

Do we negotiate?  Of course.  I actually had to discuss this with Sir a little because from our relationship thus far it has seemed like negotiation was never really a thing.  Oh, but it was and definitely is a thing!  If I am uncomfortable with something, I tell him and, thus, we negotiate.  It’s basically a constant negotiation.

Back to the contracts, this doesn’t mean I don’t have rules, tasks, etc.  I do and I keep a list of them on my phone.  Instead of signing my name to something, I just agree that I am going to follow these rules and accept any consequences for breaking them.  So perhaps it is more contract-ish that I though.  However, contract or not, the option to walk away is always there.  Not that I’m about to exercise that option.  I am still a very smitten kitten.  ❤ ❤ ❤

Keep an eye out for Sir’s answer to this prompt, I’m sure it’ll be along soon 😉

Also, because I’m now in the habit of adding soundtracks to my posts (literally just songs that have nothing to do with anything and happened to be playing as I typed…).

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So many feelings

I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately.  Life has been a lot to handle over the recent weeks.  It isn’t good or bad, it just is.  I feel like I’m on the edge of something amazing though.

I have also been struggling with my place in this lifestyle.  I know I am submissive, but how submissive I am remains to be seen.  I think for the right person (for Sir!) it could run rather deeply.  I also still struggle with the stereotype that society pushes on submissive women.  I found the below quote and, for me, it’s so true.  I willingly submit to ONE man but I am no doormat.

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Those smitten kitten feelings I wrote about the other day have NOT worn away.  Sir is always on my mind and I get turned on just thinking about him, a fantastic daydream.  I like that he isn’t turned off by my clinginess, my need for attention. I could go on and on….

Sir has set quite a few rules now.  Well, in my opinion at least… I haven’t EVER had rules in my entire life.  But, that’s what I want.  Those rules are helping me toward my own goals and I don’t feel resentful towards him like I worried I might.  Not even when I ‘forget’ a rule and end up writing lines. LOL.  For the first time, in a LONG time, it felt like someone actually cared.

The only problem so far is that I want to be closer to him.  My attachment is growing quickly and it feels right… but at some point, I’m going to want to feel him physically touch me (and inside me, for that matter! LOL).

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Sunday

It’s been an interesting day.  This morning Sir tasked me with having an orgasm every hour for the entire day.  I’ve had six so far and it has been AMAZING.  Also, it’s easier said than done!  An hour is not that much time so I have to be careful not to miss one by getting overly distracted by my own activities.  Each one gets just a little more difficult, my body has a looooong reset period.  All in all, not a bad way to spend a Sunday.

I’m feeling very good today – very inspired and very motivated.  I’ve been working out regularly again.  It helps that Sir has made it a rule.  Everyday I do either Turbo Jam or yoga, sometimes both.  I can get through it easier when I tell myself I’m doing it for him.  Even though, it’s mostly pertains to my own goals and is for my own benefit.  It’s a good routine, at some point I’d like to take pole dance classes but until I improve my strength and flexibility (and my financial situation!) it isn’t an option.

In general, I have been being less of a lazy-head and making more time for my own goals.  I started a gaming channel on YouTube and, eventually, I am going to start livestreaming on Twitch.  I’m pretty obsessed with The Sims.  Unfortunately, since this blog is anonymous, I cannot share very much about that part of my life.

I’m finally starting to make myself a priority and that’s a good thing.  I always forced myself to take the back-burner to others.

Well, time for yet another orgasm. 😉